Listen up, folks.

The parking lot at EHS is nothing short of pandemonium. This is common knowledge. Day after day, students and staff must struggle through the countless trials that the parking lot entails. To make a long explanation short, if you’re planning on taking a nice, leisurely drive, the parking lot is not the place to go, unless near-death experiences are your cup of tea.

I’ve tried to accept this as the cold, hard reality that cannot be changed and move on, but recently I’ve noticed the events that go down in the parking lot are growing a little unbearable. My patience is wearing thin.

Buckle in. Pun intended.

Are the speed bumps intended to slow me down or destroy the bottom of my car? Because they do both. Mission success.

Speaking of speed bumps, raise your hand if you or your car has ever been personally victimized by that one particularly bad speed bump near to the band room doors. I’ve considered taking a different entrance into the parking lot purely to avoid that speed bump.

Pull-through spots are superior. Sorry, I don’t make the rules.

To the moms that decide to park in the middle of the flow of traffic while waiting to pick their kids up after school: Please stop. I’m begging you. You leave a minuscule amount of space for me to fit my car through and I honestly don’t know if I have enough sanity left in me to do it another day.

Have you noticed how even the parking lot has cliques? No one dares to park anywhere but in their usual ~region~ of the parking lot. Strange how human nature works.

To that trucks that always takes up two parking spaces: thank you for being the theoretical “difficult person” that my mom told me I would have to deal with at some point in my life.

I would like to have a word with the people that are continually leaving food and trash laying around in the parking lot. It’s really gross guys. Trash cans are a thing. Utilize them

If you expected me to write this letter without making a comment about the terrible park jobs I witness every day, you will be sorely disappointed. Your car is supposed to go within the lines. That is all.

On the topic of yellow lines, the striped yellow lines mean you can NOT park there! To reiterate: DO NOT PARK THERE.

Here’s a quick crash course on how a four-way stop should work. Most of you are doing it right, however, for the rest…

STEP 1: STOP. This step should be the easiest, however, certain individuals fail to recognize the importance of this step.

STEP 2: If there are other cars at the intersection, figure out who arrived at the four-way stop first.

STEP 3: Go in order of arrival. Complications? Just wave another car on if you are unsure.

And there you go! You are well on your way to helping make the four-way stop by the tennis courts run smoothly.  

I could arrive at the school at 7:00 AM and the first 10 parking spots in my usual row would still be filled up. To the people who get to school that early, I admire you, but I will never understand you.

You will see no greater camaraderie in our entire school than when half of the parking lot is sharing one scraper after it snows.

It takes so. Long. To get out of the parking lot after school. It feels like the line to exit the parking lot should not be as long as the parking lot itself. Let’s make a better system to get out. Please. Something. Anything.

Why are honk battles a thing? I don’t even really want to unpack this one.

PSA: People WILL get angry if you assume they will let you into the flow of traffic. Play it safe and wait for a kind person to come along.

Maybe one day our parking lot will straighten itself out. But until that day, my hair will continue to gray as I wait in the never-ending line to leave.

Thank you for coming along on this ride with me. Pun intended, again.

Signed,

Meg

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